(What We'd Be Doing If We Didn't Work at the Bulletin. . .)

"The tester removes a carton [of ice cream] from the conveyor belt and cuts it in half with a double-handled knife. She checks for quality: look, smell, texture, taste. She tastes with a gold spoon, which leaves no aftertaste. Her cheeks bulge as she swirls ice cream around her palate. She smacks her lips, says, 'Marvelous!' then rinses. The taster is so important to the ice cream factory that it insures her tongue."