Louise.

"She walks in beauty like the night." Is that how it goes? I can't remember where that's from. She nightly walks in beauty? No. I don't do poetry.

I did try writing her some poetry once, to show her my sensitive side.

But the only things I could think of to rhyme with "Louise" were "help me, please," "on my knees," and "I like cheese." None of them seemed appropriate. I binned the poem quickly, before the hideous creature could evolve a second verse.